CollegePrayer.org College Roommates

Choosing a college dorm can be as important as choosing a roommate.

Choosing a Dorm

For a very candid discussion of dorm life, see Dr. Ruth's Guide to College Life.

Although we don't agree with some things she says, she is quite candid about sex at college dorms. You should know what you are getting yourself into at a secular college. You will have to adapt, compromise, or leave.

Coed Bathrooms?
Drugs?

Many conflicts with roommates can be avoided by choosing a drug free and alcohol free dorm. Also choose a dorm that does not have coed bathrooms. Secular colleges have abandoned all common decency and expect students to just accept nudity. Nudity in a dorm is not something that a Christian should accept. I don't care what the housing office tells you, it's not right. It can cause problems for women who are harassed by men on their dorm floor. Sexual harassment may consist of just words or unwelcome advances.

You don't have to accept any form of sexual pressure or abuse including sharing a bathroom with the opposite sex. Many men want their privacy too.

If you can't be assured ahead of time that the particular dorm you are going to be in conforms to the level of modesty you want, then find another dorm or even another college. Don't compromise on this! Don't sluff it off as being just a group of brothers and sisters living together - you aren't related! Either you are dedicated to living a life that's acceptable to God or not. Your lifestyle choices betray your values.

For a very candid discussion of dorm life, see Dr. Ruth's Guide to College Life.

For I have not lost sight of my plan for you, the LORD says, and it is your welfare I have in mind, not your undoing; for you, too, I have a destiny and a hope. Jer. 29:11 (Knox)

Roommate Matching Tips

1. First of all you probably want a roommate who doesn't use drugs. Why ruin your life by being arrested for possession of drugs that belong to them?

2. If you choose not to drink or smoke, you probably want a roommate that does not drink or smoke.

3. If you are a night owl, don't choose a morning person. Your sleep schedules should be similar. It's hard enough to sleep at a dorm with all the noise.

4. Decide if the dorm room is for studying or for relaxation. Decide when noise from music is acceptable. Decide when guests are acceptable. Discuss your decisions.

5. For the conflicts which can't be avoided, draw up a dorm room contract. For instance, if one person has a 8:00 am class, lights should be out at 11 pm the night before. Or guests are allowed until 10 pm on week days, or whatever. You need to work it out in writing with all the roommates to your mutual satisfaction. For a sample roommate agreement see www.lawdepot.com's Roommate Agreement. It may well be worth the $12.50 for the form to not be annoyed by your roommates.

6. For any other conflicts, talk to your Resident Advisor. They want to help if they can. They can be there just to talk to or they can intercede for you if necessary.

7. If you were an only child or are not used to noise and the bedlam of a dorm, see if there is the alternative of a private dorm. These are becoming more and more popular. They typically have better amenities like high speed internet or jacuzzis.

RAPE and YOU

Nakedness may be funny when you are talking about a babies' buns. It is not funny when you are talking about a 19 year old boy on drugs raping a girl who lives down the hall from him.

20% to 25 % of all college women are sexually assaulted during college. (source US Dept of Justice).

Imagine a world without rape

Somewhere in America a woman is raped approximately every 35 seconds. Remember "NO" is a complete sentence.

"I made a covenant with my eyes that I might not sin against you ... " Job 31:1

Is viewing nakedness in a dorm wrong for a Christian?

There are very specific laws about who someone can see naked. Leviticus chapter 18 spells out with surprising precision what nakedness is not allowed even among close family members. God sternly warns against not acting like the Egyptians and the Canaanites, who were not too far from today's college dorms in practice. This is not a joke.

Now granted we are not under the Old Testament law any more but that is no reason to justify what God calls an abomination. If God felt so strongly about this that he dedicated an entire chapter of the Bible to laws about nakedness, you'd better believe He is serious about this.

If you are in a situation where you are exposed to such problems, you need to change where you live. Contact the universities housing department.

Roommate assignments are not final. You are PAYING them to be there & you have rights.

Are you getting enough spiritual food? Don't starve - read your Bible.

In nothing be anxious, tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer. Phil 4:6

"... friendship with the world is enmity with God." James 4:4